


keep it all inside, boys don't cry

by localwheeler



Category: As It Is (Band), Waterparks (Band)
Genre: Angst, Crying, Dysphoria, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Male Slash, Slash, Trans Male Character, Transgender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-11-13 14:03:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18033113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/localwheeler/pseuds/localwheeler
Summary: awsten looked at his reflection of himself in the mirror and sighed. tears rolled down his cheeks and he couldn't stop them.





	keep it all inside, boys don't cry

**Author's Note:**

> i was listening to the stigma while writing this !! I'm a sucker for ftm awsten whoops
> 
>  
> 
> also he's pre-t and pre-op in this!!

awsten was getting ready to take a shower. as he removed his shirt, he revealed his binder. his face was too round. his skin was too smooth. his chest wasn't flat enough. his hips were too wide. his thighs were too big. tears flooded his eyes.

boys don't cry.

he wished he was a real man like jawn, otto, geoff, travis, anyone. patty deserved better. the tears were now streaming down his face and it made him feel weak. he felt like a girl. all he ever will be is a girl. he could hear them chanting his name in his ears as sobs escaped his mouth. 

emily. emily. emily. emily.

"NO!" he screamed, trying to get away from his inner demons. "NO! NO!" his body was shaking as he sank to his knees and held himself. he'll never be a man. he's a girl. only girls cry. only girls get lumps on their chest. only girls get blood in their underwear once a month. 

awsten reached for his phone to ring patty. patty comforted him. "patty?" awsten's voice wavered and his hand rushed to cover his mouth. "aws, what's wrong?" awsten sobbed loudly on the other end. "why do you love me? i'm a girl, patty! a fucking girl! you don't like girls! i'll never be a man!"

"awsten, stay where you are," patty stayed on the line as he rushed out to his car and began to drive to awsten's apartment. he could hear awsten's cries on the other line and his occasional sniffs.

patty let himself in and knocked on the bathroom door. "aws? aws, it's patty, let me in," patty's heart broke at the sight of his boyfriend sitting in the corner, crying his eyes out. 

"come here," patty pulled the blue haired boy into a hug and held him tight as he brought awsten to his feet. awsten was crying into patty's shirt, soaking the material. the blonde boy was shushing awsten as his sobs reduced to hiccups and the odd sniff. 

"i'm sorry i made you drive here for me," awsten had his arms wrapped tightly around patty and patty was rubbing circles in his back to calm the other boy.

"awsten, it's okay, i don't like knowing you're upset," the blue boy reached down to grab his shirt and pulled it over his head. "don' wanna shower," he said softly.

patty nodded and looked down at him. "that's okay bub, it's alright,"


End file.
